DEATH TO THISTLE

Hear ye, hear ye, denizens of the realm and valiant crusaders of the verdant fields! On the twentieth day of April, in the year of our Lord 2024, from the hour of nine in the morning until the first hour past midday, we shall convene upon the hallowed grounds of Draper Disc Golf Course. There, we shall embark upon a most noble quest: the eradication of the nefarious thistle, a blight upon our land and a scourge to our beloved disc golf sanctuaries.

Equip thyself with the armaments of the righteous:

• Gloves of Leather: To shield thine hands from the thistle's treacherous barbs.
• Garments of the Long-Legged and Long-Sleeved: To protect thy flesh from the sun's fierce gaze and the thistle's wicked grasp.
• Elixirs of Hydration: To quench thy thirst amidst the heat of battle.
• Hats of the Sunward Shield: To ward off the sun's relentless assault upon thy brow.
• A Heart Filled with Vehemence for Thistle: To channel thy righteous fury towards the purging of this plague.
• Visions of a Future Resplendent: Where the discus may glide freely, unencumbered by the thistle's tyranny.
• The Spade of Justice: To unearth the roots of evil and cast them from our domain.

This gathering is not merely an act of removal; it is a clarion call to all who cherish the green earth and the joy of the discus flight. Together, we shall rise as deathsayers of the plague, decreeing the end of the thistle's reign over our lands. Let us join forces, wielding our shovels like scythes of old, to reap the unwanted, to cleanse our course, and to herald a new age of prosperity and joy for the disc golf realms of Utah.

Let this Earth Day be marked not by mourning the pestilence of thistle, but by celebrating the unity and strength of our fellowship. Rally to the cause, ye brave souls, for together, we shall restore balance to our fields and ensure the legacy of disc golf for generations yet to come. Onward, to victory and to the future we shall forge, free from the grasp of thistle's dark shadow.